A little help here, please! (Wordsmiths untie!)

[radiophoto]

I've been for several weeks now attempting to sell my "Bel-Jac" bellows jacket on eBay, with very little success.  In fact, I think I've sold four.  Or is it three?  I'm getting some interest (you can see how many views you've gotten), but I would like to increase my sales.  I don't think I'm asking too much ($2.50 for an opening bid -- I did offer BIN for $4.50 with no takers there, either) for a hand-made-to-order item, so maybe it's my spiel.  Below is the exact wording I'm using on my auctions, and I'm hoping one or more of you will read it over and let me know if I'm putting anything out that might be turning off potential buyers:

Got an old Kodak, Ansco, Agfa, Tower, or other brand of folding camera, and it's collecting dust because the bellows leak light? Well, as the famous TV announcer once said, "Those days are gone forever!" Introducing the Bel-Jac, a custom-made bellows jacket, which wraps around your existing bellows and renders it light-tight! Made to your specifications from soft, pliable leatherette, the Bel-Jac snugs around your folder's bellows in an instant and secures with a Velcro closure. Works like a dream and allows you to finally take your old folder off a shelf and shoot with it!

I made this for myself when I discovered that bellows replacement was, if not cost-prohibitive, downright impossible for some types of folders, Kodaks in particular.  I was frustrated with this situation, and eventually decided to try wrapping something around it -- and the Bel-Jac was born.

Warning: Do not attempt to close your camera while it's wearing the Bel-Jac. Camera must have existing bellows in place -- not for folding cameras with severely damaged or completely missing bellows.

Guaranteed to render your old bellows light-tight or your money cheerfully refunded. Buyer to provide measurements (in centimeters) of camera's bellows. Free Shipping (to U.S. buyers) via first-class mail, no extra handling charges.

Here's what two of our satisfied customers had to say about the Bel-Jac:

"When I saw Pete's Bel-Jac idea I thought that would be a really good way to try out the camera to see if it was worth the time or effort of a new bellows with just a minimal investment....Pete got the Bel-Jac to me in no time, I promptly put it on the camera and it fit like a glove, just beautiful....I will say I was pleasantly surprised when I looked at the negatives. No light leaks at all and this bellows really does have a hole at every single corner....Installing and removing the Bel-Jac takes no time at all so I will just carry the kit all separately and throw it together if I need it." -- S.P.

"Your product is great!!! I love it. I will be ordering one for my Voigtlander Bessa." -- M.W.

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Free shipping to U.S. Buyers!  Now offering sales to overseas buyers, who will pay only actual cost of postage. Bel-Jac will usually fit into a standard legal-size envelope and may qualify for a low, International First-Class Postage rate. If you are living outside the U.S. and wish to bid, please contact me for further information.

[sandeha]

Introducing the Bel-Jac, a custom-made bellows jacket, which wraps around your existing bellows and renders it light-tight! Ideal for bellows with pinholes in the corners. 

Made to your specifications from soft, pliable leatherette, the Bel-Jac is easy to fit around your folder's bellows in an instant and secures with a Velcro closure.

Pic

Open, insert, wrap, and close. 

Pic

Guaranteed to render your old bellows light-tight or your money refunded. Buyer to provide measurements (in centimeters) of camera's bellows. Free Shipping (to U.S. buyers) via first-class mail, no extra handling charges.

Here's what two of our satisfied customers had to say about the Bel-Jac:

"it fit like a glove, just beautiful ... No light leaks at all ..." -- S.P.

"Your product is great!!! I love it. I will be ordering one for my Voigtlander Bessa." -- M.W.

Warning: Do not attempt to close your camera while it's wearing the Bel-Jac. Camera must have existing bellows in place -- not for folding cameras with severely damaged or completely missing bellows.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Free shipping to U.S. Buyers!  Now offering sales to overseas buyers, who will pay only actual cost of postage. Bel-Jac will usually fit into a standard legal-size envelope and may qualify for a low, International First-Class Postage rate. If you are living outside the U.S. and wish to bid, please contact me for further information.




Now it might not be at all to your style to lay things out like this, but I hope you can see why I've made these changes.  I find that what matters on eBay if you want to reach the widest possible audience is description, description, description. 

And that's not only the audience of camera users, but of readers - any jargon or slang, in-jokes, over-familiarity, personal history, assumptions about the buyer's habits, or similar, will chip away at the readership, or as you say, turn off potential buyers. 

You need people to read your text at least three times, each time with increasing pleasure and confidence that the product will resolve their problem.  Claims and personal judgements are usually a turn-off.  Customer quotes should be trimmed to the point.  Naturally, any negative warning must go at the end where it will be read, but not gain too much attention.

I would guess that demand would be low, but I also think your price is too low - too low to appear realistic.  Remember that pricing has nothing to do with production costs and (usually) everything to do with any profit you want to make and (perhaps in your case) the value you want your customers to feel they are getting.

The pics of the product are going to be very important.

[radiophoto]

Sandeha, thanks, this is a terrific layout.  I do have a composite pic posted (see here).  Over at my website, I've got things a little more detailed (see here) -- should I include a link to that?

My current auctions are almost ended, so I'll use your wording revisions when I relist them.  Is there a way to "plant" pics in the description, the way we can here at NFF?

I am attempting to get a following at ebay and build up my seller's ratings (you have to have 10 sales to get the stars showing there), so I've been keeping the price lower than I'd like, but even so, maybe it's "too good to be true"?

[sandeha]

Long time since I tried it but I think you can link a pic that's hosted elsewhere just by using  html in the text.  Unless they've stopped that since.  Defo include a link to your webpage.

I think most people would expect a BIN price for a straight product like this. 

I'd say your compo pic is too small and maybe just the two vertical shots on the right would give all the information the customer needs.  And I think colour pics would have more impact.

[radiophoto]

I'll re-shoot it in color.  I uploaded a huge pic, but it got resized by the 'bay pirates.

I tried a BIN price (it was bid *or* BIN) and got no takers, but I'm not against it again.  Would it help to post at eBay.co.uk?  Would Brits be interested in summat like this?

[sandeha]

Brits have occasionally bought my refurbished Isolettes but most of them go abroad, and all of my bellows sales have been international.

[radiophoto]

Sandeha: I've posted color pics at the page linked to my auctions, and have re-introduced the buy-it-now feature, further I've raised the price.  What the hell, I mean, if nobody's gonna buy 'em, they at least oughta not buy them at a higher price, right? :p

Actually, I'm grateful for your sales advice, and hope that something happens there.

[CarlosE]

Pete,
I wish the Best for you.

Sincerely,
Carlos

[LarryD]

Pete if I had a need for one you know I would get one from you. I think if you made a light tight wrap for the Holga you may sell more because it says HOLGA..... If you do I get 50% of all sales...

[radiophoto]

Thanks, Carlos!  Thanks, Larry!

I could do one for the Holga, that would be no problem.  Back about 8 years ago, I fashioned a "wet suit" out of leatherette for my older son's No. 2 Brownie box -- it was in bad shape, the back door and the seams were loose, so I put together a kind of sleeve that slipped over the back end, with a hole for the red window to peep thru, and another hole for the top handle stud.  Send me your Holga so I can try something out, as I don't have one of my own.

Speaking of the "wet suit", I'm going to make one for my Spartus 116 box camera, because the seller didn't tell me it had a broken back door (Bakelite's chipped off along the bottom edge and half-way up both sides, dammit).